something that hits close to home

I Contemplated Suicide Tonight I contemplated suicide Thoughtfully for a long time, I pondered I wondered, mentally, physically, and spiritually I examined and observed I contemplated suicide I’m strong minded; at times confi dent, caring, and comforting Not sure, insecure and emotional People think that I’m ok, but I’m not I laugh, I cry, I got a heart of gold I’m bold, I’m cold, I’m warm, and defeated I contemplated suicide I’m not what I dreamt to be Nobody loves me, nobody cares I know where the pills are Nothing ever goes right, everything is going wrong I’m trying to remain calm, there is no one to blame But me I contemplated suicide My world is tumbling, the walls are closing, and my everything, is gone My heart, my future, my Life, my dreams i can see My fingers Gripping the bottle, man that spirit was in me Sometimes, it surfaces Let me gather my thoughts I contemplated suicide